Hatred.

I don't know why but it feels utterly wrong. When I look back at my pasts, I just can't believe I've been through all this. I mean, I've dreamt about having it, I went through all those 'magical' moments I've been craving for and I've lost it in such a horrible, indescribable way. I regretted it ever so much that at one point I felt like I've totally lost everything I have, everything I valued, everything I loved.

But now, what I feel now is.. It's just so, WRONG. Sooo out of place. That I think, these feelings don't even deserve to overcome me. I think I've reached 'that' immortality point until these bullcrap that back then I saw as a fairytale are just mere.. Bullcrap to me. Nothing more than a pile of bloody wasted time on useless human beings who I shouldn't have try to be close at all to begin with.

How is that possible?